Melting Down - Nuclear style

I managed to have a complete meltdown today. I don't know what exactly happened. I wish I did.

It would be easy to blame my husband - after all, it's what he said that set me off, but really it's my fault completely.

You see, my husband has been suffering with what I believe is stress related chest pains. We have a lot of stress in this house. I would let him know all about the issues of the day, and he was suffering for it. Knowing this may have been causing some of the issues, I stopped and it got better.

In short order, he stopped having the pains and things were better for him. The less I bothered him with things, the better he felt, but I kept getting sicker and sicker, but it didn't matter, as long as he was feeling better.

I guess I should have seen the signs, after all, I was sick all the time, tired all the time, I had a constant headache, even had a seizure, but still, I kept going.

Today he made a comment that I had been sitting on the couch for the past few days, and he was worried about me. I lost it. I have not been sitting on the couch all the time, but truly, as tired as I have been, I haven't been up to going anywhere or doing anything.

A complete and total meltdown. I was crying and babbling incoherently, shaking all over... I'm still crying...

Well, as Scarlet O'Hara said, tomorrow is another day, and I will pick up the pieces and start again...

Let it rain!

OK God.... I know You are up to something, I know You will be here throughout everything, but wow! How much more?

Bring it on! Let it rain! Let it Rain, Let Your love rain down on me! Let it rain! Let it rain! Let it rain, rain, rain!!!

I KNOW all will be good in the end!

I am dancing in this rain You are sending down.

step 1: seizure
step 2: Alissa's breakdown
step 3: Dale stealing fromMom and Dad
step 4: ?

I will waltz in the rain!

Rain dancing!

You know, sometimes it feels like it's raining cats and dogs. I mean there are times I feel as if I'm dodging German Shepherds and Persian cats trying to make it through without too many bites and scratches.

This past about 5 days has been like that. It started out with my son finding out one of his friends, who was a DOD civilian was coming home from Iraq and got killed by a drunk driver.

Then I was feeling a little 'off' and ended my day in a seizure. Never had one of those before, so yes, brand new info for me. It was definitely a strange sensation.... Thank GOD Gayle was here. The horrible thing is my whole family got to see it.

Then my daughter came home after having a hysterical fit at school. She's been having more and more meltdowns. I think she's bipolar. It would not surprise me. I have one sister who is diagnosed bipolar and another who really should be. She goes to see a counselor on Friday.

I guess it's going to be raining for awhile. I can be thankful that I have a great God and instead off wallowing in the mud, I'm going to

DANCE IN THE RAIN!

OK here it is

I am just going to have to say the words. Hard as it is, as much as I don't want to, as much as I HATE that "Oh I feel so sorry for you look" I will have to say the words.

I had a seizure

Now I'm forgetting names of people I love dearly, friends I have known for a long time. It's not completely forgotten, I can dig them up, but it is just harder than it used to be.

The seizure was caused by lack of oxygen for about 10 seconds. What a strange feeling. I remember trying to breathe - actually thinking "force yourself to breathe, Vicki" and then saying "help me"
I remember right before, and seconds after.

We think it's a one time event, but only time will tell.